[Instead of opening to the inside of a packed arena of independent wrestling fans, as we have three times before, we instead start with our screen full of the green, yellow, and blue flag of Brazil, fluttering in the wind. As we take in the flag, the massive international hit and title song from Duran Duran’s second album, Rio, begins to play.
We then switch, to an image of the city in which this show is being held… no, not winter bound Akron on the Little Cuyahoga, silly! It’s Rio de Janeiro, the jewel on the Atlantic, most visited city in South America, and from the sparkling beaches to Sugar Loaf to the dominating heights around the city, it looks every inch one of the most beautiful cities on earth.
It is only after our scene is properly set that we cut to the inside of our arena, where a very respectable crowd is on their feet, cheering the beginning of the show. The Fighting Spirit logo pops up in the middle of the screen.
And then we’re panning around the crowd, too quickly to really make anything distinctively out, as Simon Le Bon’s distinctive voice continues to bring us back to the 80’s in our minds.
#Her name is Rio and she dances on the sand.#
#Just like that river twisting through a dusty land.#
#And when she shines she really shows you all she can.#
#Oh Rio, Rio dance across the Rio Grande…#
We take a quick look at the ring entrance, which has been expanded to include a small dais off to the side with two steps up to it. Right next to that is a pillar, guarded by two burly security men in black shirts, on which sits the golden cup for which we’ve gathered here in Rio to compete. We then switch to a view from a second camera, this one trained right on the announce position just a few feet from the ring, where Skip Sampson and Randolph Chalmers stand at attention. Both men are, as always on our shows, dressed in black tuxedos to strike the appropriate tone, and as always Skip is excited to get into things. Randolph, somewhat unusually, is smiling rather widely.]
SS: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Fighting Spirit #4 – Noite dos Campeoes! Welcome to the home of prestigious wrestling title tournaments for decades – Rio de Janeiro, in sunny Brazil! Welcome to the night when we will decide who will take home the 2012 Continental Cup, who will be the first ever Continental Cup winner!
RC: It’s certainly a thrill to be here in Rio.
SS: I can’t argue with you there, partner!
RC: I do have a few… questions, though.
[Skip gets a pained look, which he quickly banishes as he flashes a smile at his broadcast partner.]
SS: What questions would those be?
RC: Well, firstly, I was wondering why all the signage in this building is in English, considering Brazil is a Portuguese speaking country.
SS: Ah, well, I’m told that the building management made that change for our benefit!
[Chalmers doesn’t stop smiling, clearly enjoying giving his company the gears for the advertised location of this show.]
RC: I see. I’ve also noticed quite a few fans wearing warm clothing – sweaters, winter coats, and the like. Why would such bulky outerwear be required in what is only the early fall here in Rio?
SS: Er, well, you know about that freak cold snap that arrived here just today – surely you saw it from your hotel window?
[Skip is, by now, sweating bullets for some unknown reason, all while Chalmers continues to grin like the cat that swallowed the canary.]
RC: Yes, that must be it. But I have another question. Why is it that-
[Skip interrupts hurriedly.]
SS: We don’t have time for your questions now, Randolph, because the ring introductions for our first of two massive elimination matches are about to begin. Jennifer Trigby-Williams, would you take it away… please?
[If there was a little bit of desperation in that “please”, we won’t mention it. Anyway, Jennifer stands already in the middle of the ring, cue cards at the ready should she need them, wearing a simple t-shirt and jean skirt outfit. The fans give a nice pop for the perky young ring announcer, and she returns the favour with a wide smile and a friendly wave to the crowd.]
JTW: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the first of two ten man elimination matches, where teams of five will strive to survive! The match will continue until all competitors on one team are eliminated, with the surviving members of the winning team moving on to the next round!
[Jennifer has earned another pop, this one of the “Thanks for the concise explanation of the format!” variety!]
JTW: Introducing first, the team of The Wizards of Oz!
[MC Frontalot’s “Final Boss” heralds the arrival of the first and, in the eyes of most fans, the most likeable of the Wizards of Oz. Being the most likeable in this bunch, though, is not a particularly difficult feat.]
JTW: Hailing from the Dark Side, Oklahoma… here is Player 2 of the Nerd Power Collective!
[Though the masked Player 2 is getting lots of offers for fan interaction, especially from kids excited to see their first wrestler of the night, he ignores them all and is businesslike as he makes his way to the ring. About halfway there, the song changes to the massive, John Williams inspired orchestral score of the Imperial March.]
JTW: And hailing from His Secret Base… King Vile, and Hencho Number One!
[Hencho #1 labours mightily as he appears from behind the curtains. Normally, both Henchos would be sharing the burden of carrying their boss/evil overlord to the ring on their shoulders, but with #2 presumably backstage preparing for his own match, it’s all on Hencho #1, who is essentially giving Vile a piggy back ride to the ring as he bosses cackles evilly, his cape fluttering in the breeze.]
SS: King Vile is not exactly the best boss in the world.
RC: Los Henchos have a point in the tag team standings, don’t they? The man gets results if you stay loyal to him.
[Understandably, Hencho #1’s progress – and thus Vile’s – to ringside is a bit slow, and both men are booed loudly as they go. Once they’re about halfway there, the music again changes on a dime, this time to Hans Zimmer’s “Fighting 17th”.]
JTW: Hailing from Hershey, Pennsylvania… Adrian Cuisine!
[Adrian walks out, trusty cast iron pan in hand, and scans the audience. When they respond by pretty much universally jeering the masked chef, he shoots them a look of scorn that can be seen even through the mask, and begins his walk to ringside, chatting with the camera as he goes about how these peons don’t deserve to see a man of his quality compete. There is one final music change just as we cut away from Cuisine’s trash talk, this time to the opening riffs of Metallica’s “Don’t Tread on Me”.]
JTW And finally, the team captain, hailing from Philadelphia… Oz Rivera!
[At first, the crowd aren’t sure how to react when they here Metallica – but when they hear it’s Oz Rivera on the way, one half of the most disrespectful tag team in Fighting Spirit, they keep up the torrent of boos and abuse that the previous members of the Spirit of Aggression had all earned. They don’t see Oz right away, though, as after the initial bridge, a single spotlight shines on the entrance, throbbing in and out in intensity along with the beat. After making everyone wait a while, Oz Rivera emerges from the back, in his ring gear completely ignoring the fans in attendance and keeping all his attention on the corner where his teammates have assembled, especially casting a wary eye at Adrian Cuisine.]
SS: Well how about that, Randolph, apparently Oz Rivera has different entrance music when he’s making a singles appearance – and quite an entrance it was.
RC: It makes me wonder if Luis Sanchez will have anything in store for us during his match later. But I wonder even more about those angry looks Rivera and Cuisine are giving each other.
SS: The cohesion of the Wizards of Oz could easily be an issue here tonight!
[Rivera makes it to ringside, and begins some last minute strategy discussions with his team, still not entirely taking his eye off Cuisine, who meets his glance resolutely. Meanwhile, Jennifer steps to the center of the ring again, as the beginning of “Rise of the Phoenix” tells her she needs to get to announcing the other team.]
JTW: And their opponents, the team of Blitzkrieg Bop! Introducing first, from Parts Unknown… Kid Phoenix!
[Kid Phoenix steps out into view, dividing his attention between the five men already in the ring and the crowd which is giving him a fairly positive reaction – though whether this is for himself, or in opposition to the heels in the ring isn’t clear. Phoenix stands there for a moment, taking in the reaction and lost in thought, before he focuses in on the ring and starts briskly walking there, taking care not to actually go in there where the odds are momentarily five to one against. Once he’s there, his music is replaced by Switchfoot’s “Meant to Live”.]
JTW: Hailing from Hawthorne, California… please welcome Mike Gionet!
[Gionet, like several of the men before him, takes a moment at the top of the entrance ramp to take in the moment, all while the crowd loudly cheers over the opening guitar riffs of Meant to Live. A single voice, calling out “You can do it, Mike!”, breaks the moment and he’s off, smiling as he walks slowly down to the ring and accepts a few outstretched hands from the fans around him. He makes it to stand next to Kid Phoenix, nodding briefly to him before looking up at the Wizards of Oz, intensity on his face. He doesn’t notice that Kid Phoenix stares at him a bit longer, an odd look on his eyes beneath the mask.]
SS: What’s that all about, Randolph?
RC: What’s what all about?
[The point drops, as the music changes yet again, this time to Michael Franti and Spearhead’s “Yell Fire”, which only keeps the fans out of their seats and cheering loudly.]
JTW: From Los Angeles, California… Ryan Martinez!
[Martinez strides out with determination etched all over his face and body, clearly so ready and focused to fight that the world around him his melted away. He doesn’t notice the fans around him, doesn’t notice his entrance theme, and almost doesn’t notice when he makes it up to where Gionet and Kid Phoenix are standing at the end of the aisle, with Gionet having to put out an arm to slow his partner from just getting into the ring and starting things right away. Once alerted, he takes his place next to his two teammates and waits, as the music heralds that their captain is about to appear by changing to GWAR’s “Rangarok”.]
JTW: And the team captain, from East Berlin, Germany… “Blitzkrieg” Hans von Tripp!
[The spotlight turns red and focuses on the entrance ramp as the burly, middle-aged German walks into view. Hans is moving extremely sprily for a man in his fifties, touching one curled-up tip of his mustache and smiling at the prospect of the chaos and violence ahead before he makes it up to his three teammates. And yes, we are counting right, and everyone has noticed – from his spot in the ring, King Vile is gesturing broadly, holding five fingers up on one hand and only four on the other to point out the numerical disadvantage while he and his Hencho gloat about it. On seeing that, von Tripp, Gionet, and Martinez all look up and down the line of men they’re in, and then take on exaggerated expressions of concern. Adrian Cuisine joins in the taunting, asking them if a friend forgot to show up, to which Gionet asks out loud “are we missing someone?”
This is apparently a pre-arranged signal, as then all four men on Blitzkrieg Bop turn in unison and point to the entrance, exactly in time with a music cue. After about ten seconds of an unmistakable song opening, Sebastian Bach’s voice rings out through the arena…
#Oh ye-eeeah!#
And as the Hall of Famer, Youth Gone Wild, emerges from the Gorilla position, our capacity crowd loses its collective mind.]
SS: Listen to the roof blow off this place, Randolph!
[Wild stands at the top of the ramp, big grin on his face, all eyes on him, as the heels in the ring react with annoyance to this bit of showmanship, his teammates (with the notable exception of the relatively taciturn Kid Phoenix) smile and joke around, and the crowd pops huge, so loudly that Jennifer can’t even properly introduce him. This gives us enough time to get a look at the no longer quite so young Youth Gone Wild, who despite being a bit stockier than he was in his prime, seems to be in rather excellent shape.]
SS: What do you think, Randolph? Youth Gone Wild looks like he’s in peak physical form here! Doesn’t that speak well for any indications of ring rust?
RC: Wait until we see him the ring, Skip. That will tell the tale.
[And now Wild is off, running excitedly down the ramp, high-fiving a couple of lucky fans as he goes, and finally – finally – the crowd reaction has died down just enough for Jennifer to do her job.]
JTW: And finally, from Buffalo, New York… the former UWF World Champion, the Hall of Famer, Youth Gone Wild!
[As soon as YGW makes it to where his teammates are waiting, all five of them take off at a run and slide into the ring, causing the Wizards of Oz to scramble out of the way as they cede the ring to the fan favourites. This only serves to pump up the crowd even more, and to annoy the Wizards who are left to complain impotently from their spots outside the ring while Blitzkrieg Bop pumps up the crowd.]
SS: What a show by Blitzkrieg Bop! They definitely have the crowd on their side!
RC: Yes, and that in addition to a few dollars is worth a subway ride home. Let’s wait until the wresting starts, and we’ll see who’s celebrating at the end, not the start of the match.
[Referee JP Keller starts shepherding Blitzkrieg Bop towards a corner, prominently showing them the tag rope he’d like them to use, so that the Wizards of Oz can filter back into the ring to their own corner and things can eventually get underway.]
SS: Well, it looks like we’re very close to getting this first elimination match started… and I remind you, it matters not just which team wins, but how many members survive, as the more teammates you have moving onto the next match, the more chance you have of winning that one.
RC: Yes, but that also means the more potential rivals for the Continental Cup you have when all other teams are eliminated, and you have to turn on your former partners. There’s a happy medium here – you’d rather survive with three or four men than the whole team, I think.
SS: The strategy certainly is hard to figure, but the most important thing is just to survive. In any event, it’s time for a quick look at the Tale of the Tape!
TALE OF THE TAPE | |
---|---|
Blitzkrieg Bop | Wizards of Oz |
1155 lbs | 1105 lbs |
Fairplay, mostly | Aggression, mostly |
[We’ve got both teams basically in place… we’ve got one man from each side walking towards the center of the ring, where our referee is ready to give his instructions… we’ve got said referee, after his last minute exhortations, looking to the timekeeper and calling for the bell. In short, we’re ready to start this match.]
SS: Blitzkrieg Bop versus the Wizards of Oz is kicking off right now! It looks like it’ll be the two captains starting things off.
RC: Lead by example, that’s what I always say.
SS: Don’t you always say leaders should sacrifice their teammates when the time is right?
RC: I say a lot of things.
[It is indeed Hans von Tripp and Oz Rivera, the captains of the two teams, starting out in the ring. They circle each other warily, the two veterans looking for an opening to get things off on the right foot, each looking to grapple their opponent to the ground – but neither gets the opportunity, as each man is also defending with outstretched hands. Rivera reaches forward to try to grab an arm, but von Tripp slaps the advance away with both hands, keeping his strong guard up as the two stay on the balls of their feet. Hans breaks the momentary stalemate with a sudden bullrush, catching Rivera by surprise and forcing him to backpedal quickly to the safety of a corner – which he reaches just before Hans gets to him. JP Keller steps in to force a clean break, all while Rivera taunts the middle aged German, directing the ref to “Back him up!”]
RC: Anyone who wants to win the Continental Cup will have to win two matches tonight, so quite wisely both men are starting with a slow pace and settling in for a long night.
SS: There are plenty of men over in the Blitzkrieg Bop corner who’ll be happy to inject some speed into this match the first chance they get, though.
[As he’s having the referee do his work for him by forcing Hans away, Rivera briefly turns to the crowd and yells at a jeering fan. This very brief distraction costs him, though, as von Tripp immediately breaks away from Keller and charges into the corner, flattening Rivera into the buckles with a running clothesline! Rivera’s taken a bit out of it by the whiplash, and staggers forward unthinkingly right into the path of von Tripp, who follows on by grabbing waistlock and quickly snapping Rivera overhead with a belly to belly suplex!]
SS: That’s one heck of a suplex by von Tripp! Normally, Rivera is the one suplexing guys around the ring!
RC: I hate to admit it, but von Tripp is being quite smart here, and making an quick tag when he has the advantage. A veteran move to be sure.
[Hans has walked over to look for a tag, but he’s taken Rivera with him, dragging him by the head and neck into position before reaching out with one hand to bring in Mike Gionet. Hans continues to hold onto Rivera as Gionet leaps into the ring, sees his opponent held prone, and lays a couple of stiff kicks into his chest. von Tripp then lets go, and a stunned Rivera drops to a single knee, while Gionet nods to his captain to thank him for the help and let him know that he has things under control. Hans ducks out of the ring as Gionet sizes up Rivera, taking a few steps back to get a running start before he climbs up that one knee to hit a shining wizard, dropping Rivera to the mat! Gionet is quick to follow him, looking for an early elimination.]
SS: Could we have the first elimination already?
RC: No, a strong kickout by Rivera! You’ll have to do more than that to beat a man of his quality!
[An undaunted Gionet, as always, is moving quickly after the kickout, heading to the ropes to set up another running strike of some sort. Rivera, though, pops up with alarming speed and sets himself, catching a running Gionet by surprise and getting him into position to toss him with a T-bone suplex! He doesn’t follow on right away, though, taking a moment to recover from the early beating he took. He looks over to his corner, figuring this is a good time to try for a tag while Gionet is momentarily down, and he runs over to tag in the man closest to the corner – who happens to be Adrian Cuisine.]
SS: Now, this is interesting! Rivera and Cuisine have no love lost for each other, so we thought they might have some difficulty tagging! But Cuisine seemed fine, even eager, perhaps, to accept a tag there.
[Adrian enters the ring slowly – does he ever do it any other way? – and walks towards a rising Mike Gionet. Gionet sees his rival coming and instantly gets a fired-up look in his eyes, as the two go face-to-face, each talking about how they’re going to eliminate the other. The intensity builds, the crowd murmurs expectantly at seeing the two throw down yet again…
…and Cuisine breaks the tension of the moment with a hard slap right to Gionet’s face, after which he immediately scurries back to his corner and forcefully tags Oz Rivera back in!]
RC: Well, that answers one question. No, Oz Rivera and Adrian Cuisine can not get along.
SS: Cuisine has a beef with his captain, he has one with Gionet… is there anyone this man can get along with?
[Rivera can’t quite believe what’s happened, but the referee informs him it was indeed a legal tag, and he’ll have to get right back into the match. Annoyed, the captain of the Wizards of Oz shoots an evil eye at Cuisine, who pointedly ignores him, before walking back to tangle with Gionet once again. The two lock up, but only for a second as Gionet deftly takes the bigger man down with an armdrag before Oz’s greater strength can be leveraged against him. Gionet shows off his technically sound side, holding onto an armbar at the end of the move, but it’s not enough to keep Rivera from grabbing a hold of some hair (without the ref noticing, naturally) to position him against the ropes and force him to release the hold with an Irish whip. Gionet, along with most fans watching, expect Rivera to set up for one of his beloved suplexes, which is why it catches all of them – and especially the man in the ring – by surprise when he instead runs after Gionet and levels him with a high running knee. With time once again bought for a tag, Rivera again quickly moves to his corner… but this time, he’s wise enough not to tag in Adrian Cuisine, instead angrily slapping the hand of Player 2.]
SS: Here comes our first look at one half of the Nerd Power Collective in a singles capacity.
RC: He’s going to do something big, Skip! He’s not walking into the ring, he’s going to the top rope!
[The other Wizards all clear room around the post, as P2 perches himself on the top rope and waits as Gionet gets back to his feet and turns around. When the time is right, he takes off, hands clasped together, and connects on a big double axhandle! Player 2 seems to have surprised himself a little by hitting on the aerial attack, as he’s not sure how to follow up. He instinctively looks over to his corner for advice from his friend, but quickly remembers Player 1 isn’t there this time, so instead he fills time a bit by taunting the crowd.]
SS: Perhaps Player 2 is a bit conflicted here? He’s on a team full of Spirit of Aggression members, and without his partner to think of, he might be trying to fit in.
RC: Whatever he’s doing, he really ought to be paying attention! Gionet is back up!
[Player 2 turns around just a second too late for the information that Gionet is back on his feet to be of any use to him, as Gionet is off his feet. In fact, he’s bringing those feet down onto Player 2 from above, with (appropriately enough for a show in Brazil) a Pelé kick! Gionet doesn’t follow his opponents mistake, making sure to drag P2 over to his corner where escape is unlikely before he decides to start working the crowd. Which he does, pointing to his partner, Youth Gone Wild, and asking the fans if they might like to see him in the match. Wild, a look of mock surprise on his face, gestures to himself to say “Who, me?” as the crowd begins chanting loudly to see the tag. After drawing it out a few seconds, Gionet obliges to a huge pop.]
SS: The moment we’ve been waiting for in this match, Randolph! Here comes Youth Gone Wild, and this crowd has gone wild for him!
RC: I may be nauseous.
[Wild enters the ring, a big, goofy grin on his face, and Player 2 immediately tries to break up that good mood with a punch. Wild blocks, though, and hits a punch of his own. A second attempt by P2 is blocked, he’s punched again, and then Wild dramatically points at the wobbly-legged P2 while a good portion of the crowd hollers out “YOU!”. Wild shrugs, though, mouthing that he forgot for a moment that he’s doing somebody else’s schtick. Instead, he sets up the dazed P2 for an an inverted atomic drop which has him hobbling in pain. A quick leg trip drops him, which sets up a run to the ropes, a springboard, and YGW connecting with a Lionsault! He doesn’t go for a pin, though, instead getting right back up and keeping the pace fast, picking up P2 and whipping him to the far ropes. When Player 2 gets to those ropes, he’s saved by intervention from two of his teammates – King Vile and Adrian Cuisine, who each grab a leg and gently pull him out of the ring to safety. The two huddle up with a surprised P2, offering advice and an impromptu timeout, all as the crowd loudly boos this break in the action.
Youth Gone Wild, for his part, just shrugs it off, before getting that look… that mischievous look that any old school UWF fan knows… that look that says he’s about to do something reckless, ill-considered. And then, as the three Wizards talk to each other on the outside, Wild takes off running, vaulting the top rope as he comes crashing down onto all three of them with a plancha!]
SS: How about three for the price of one!
RC: You can’t fall asleep on Youth Gone Wild. You just can’t.
SS: He certainly doesn’t seem to have lost a step!
[Vile and Cuisine have both been scattered to the floor, but Wild came through the fall okay, considering he had three men to break it. He quickly gets back up, finds Player 2, and grabs the back of his mask to roll him back into the ring. Wild follows right behind him, but in desperation Player 2 has enough time to stop the onslaught with a thumb to Wild’s eye. Despite being admonished by referee JP Keller, P2 doesn’t even notice it, instead lunging forward for the tag he desperately needs to one of the two men still standing in his corner – Hencho #1.]
RC: Ah, the Greco-Roman eyepoke. The great equalizer.
SS: That was one of your finest moves, if memory serves.
RC: I’m not going to be made fun of by a man whose closest brush with being an athlete is straining to get the lid off the jar of pickles.
[The Hencho takes advantage of Wild’s momentary incapacitation, hitting him with a clubbing forearm, and then a second. Sadly for the masked henchman, though, Wild is barely hurt by the poorly executed forearms, and he responds with a knife-edge chop that blisters the Hencho. A quick whip to the rope follows, and the hapless Hencho is hit on his return by a textbook perfect dropkick. Wild is up quickly, while the Hencho isn’t up at all, and the Hall of Famer looks over to his corner, getting the attention of his teammates to tell them, simply, “It’s time.” He then drags Hencho #1 over to his corner, one arm outstretched for a tag – which he gets to Ryan Martinez.]
SS: Some sort of pre-arranged plan is going into effect here, and that can’t be good news for Hencho #1.
[Martinez steps in over the top rope, easily getting into position before King Vile’s lackey can get his wits (limited though they may be) about him. Ryan grabs a front facelock, hooks a pantleg, and lifts the man up with minimal effort, then promptly plants him back down into the mat with a brainbuster! The crowd is roaring, and the Wizards of Oz fuming, but surprisingly Martinez does not go for the pin after hitting his finisher, instead quickly tagging in Hans von Tripp.]
SS: Hold on a second, what is this? Why wouldn’t Martinez go for the elimination there?
RC: Did the way he performed that brainbuster seem a bit familiar to you?
[Von Tripp accepts the tag gladly, walks into the ring where Hencho #1 might as well be a rag doll for all the resistance he’s showing, and picks the poor man up, sending him unwillingly to the ropes. The Hencho never even knows what hit him as Hans uses that momentum against him, picking him up roughly, spinning him around, and dropping him with a huge spinebuster! But once again, to everyone’s surprise, Hans tags out immediately rather than follow up on a move that sure has his opponent out cold.]
RC: Now that spinebuster definitely looks familiar.
SS: Mike Gionet with the tag, and he’s heading to the top rope.
RC: [With a sudden horror creeping into his voice.] Oh, oh god damnit, I know what they’re doing. And I HATE IT.
[Gionet stands crouched on the top rope, waiting for the Hencho to show some life, all while his teammates egg on the crowd with raised arms. At some length, Hencho #1 starts to wobble unsteadily to his feet, at which point Gionet takes to the air with a somersault, somehow coming down in just the right position to drive the henchman down with a classic finisher.]
SS: I don’t believe it! A somersault bulldog from Gionet… shades of Alex Kidd!
RC: [Dismissively] Yes, and that spinebuster was shades of Black Diamond. And that brainbuster was more specifically a Widowmaker brainbuster, shades of Tom Landis. And, sadly, we all know what’s coming next.
[Gionet gets up, a bit winded from hitting the complicated finisher… but he’s all smiles as he dives over to tag Wild back in. And to no one’s surprise, Wild heads up to the top rope himself, though unlike Gionet he doesn’t wait for Hencho #1 to move (which might take several minutes, with the punishment he’s taken.) Instead, as soon as he’s ready, YGW leaps to the air and hits that patented twisting moonsault he made famous, the Wildflyer!
After hitting that, Wild finally does go for a pin, and the result’s about as academic as can be.]
JTW: HENCHO #1 HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
SS: So Blitzkrieg Bop scores first blood, and they do it with a tribute to Legion!
RC: Up to this point, this is my least favourite match in Fighting Spirit history. By far.
[Randolph might not be enjoying it, but our crowd sure is. The Wizards of Oz have a little mini-conference to decide how to handle this setback – again, Adrian Cuisine is not fully participating, clearly annoyed at having to take direction from Oz Rivera. In the end, they decide King Vile should get into the match for the first time, which prompts Wild to head back to his corner and tag in his team’s fresh man, Kid Phoenix. Vile circles around warily, not sure how to approach the relative newcomer to the promotion – so he’s surprised when Phoenix bullrushes him, just sort of tackling him in an MMA style takedown and then mounting the masked rudo to fire mounted punches at him. Though surprised at first, Vile’s instincts do kick in fairly quickly and he starts using his arms to block, before rolling the Kid away with his legs to gain freedom. The two both pop up to their feet right away, Vile charging towards him for a short clothesline, which Phoenix ducks while running under Vile’s arm. He plants his feet quickly and fires a kick to Vile’s stomach to surprise him. Vile doubles over, which allows Phoenix to get right on top of him and snap off a quick DDT.]
SS: I don’t think King Vile was expecting Kid Phoenix to be nearly this aggressive in his style.
RC: I approve. He’s been straight-forward, just chaining move after move. Vile will adjust, though, he’s a ring general.
[He doesn’t get a chance to right away, as Phoenix is again going for moves with alarming speed, hitting a running legdrop at high velocity. And then a second. And a third. And a fourth, with Vile’s head bouncing off the mat harshly each time. After the series is done, Kid Phoenix looks over to his corner, indicating with a nod to Gionet that he’d like him for both a tag and a brief double-team. The young Californian gets ready as Phoenix drags Vile over to an unfriendly corner, hand out so that as soon as Phoenix is in range, the tag happens immediately. Gionet ducks into the ring, and Phoenix motions with his head towards Vile’s right arm, Phoenix already having a hold on the right. Both men then grab hold of an arm, and they whip Vile into a neutral corner, his back hitting the buckles hard. Phoenix then offers his arm to Gionet, who gives him a running head start on a clothesline into the corner! Phoenix peels out of the way, knowing both that his five count to leave is near an end and that Gionet will be charging hard behind him, and as Vile stumbles forwards out of the corner, Gionet comes at him from an angle, taking him out with a crossbody that takes him up to and over the ropes just beside the corner! Both men go spilling to the floor, fortunately on a side with no nearby ringsteps to hit, but Vile on the bottom of it takes much the worse of the landing.]
SS: Blitzkrieg Bop is rocking and rolling here, and the Wizards could be in real trouble!
RC: I hate to admit it, but you’re right! Gionet is back up before Vile, and he’s going to the apron for one more big move to really put this away… he’s going for the Asai moonsault!
[Vile is up, but not sure of his opponent’s position as Gionet takes to the air, twisting gracefully! But those veteran instincts do kick in, and Vile sees him coming in just enough time to scurry forward, hugging the ring apron to provide as small a target as possible. Gionet, with no one to break his fall, tries to stick the landing on his feet – and he almost does. But an awkward stumble sends him backwards, where his back hits the metal retaining barrier, hard.]
SS: King Vile just completely ducks away from the Asai moonsault, and Gionet could be hurt on that landing, Randolph.
RC: That’s why they call it high-risk offense.
[Gionet is grimacing, limping slightly as he tries to step forward and holding a hand on his lower back, where he hit the steel. But he’s moving back towards the ring…
…until, that is, a suddenly cocky King Vile spears him into the steel again! Gionet’s back hits in almost exactly the same place, this time with much more force, and he crumples to the floor in pain. Meanwhile, Vile looks over to his teammates, gloating about that big move, when he notices someone else in the ring – referee JP Keller, who is counting both men out, and who isn’t that far off getting to ten. King Vile has always been willing to let discretion be the better part of valour, so he turns and slides quickly back into the ring, getting in at eight. Gionet, on the other hand, is just starting to pick himself up painfully, drawing on the energy of the crowd and the exhortations of his team. Sadly for him, gusty effort or not, he’s just getting close to ringside when Keller throws up that tenth and last finger.]
JTW: BY COUNTOUT, MIKE GIONET HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
[Gionet rolls into the ring anyway – it wasn’t quite a bang-bang play, but it was close – and is corralled quickly by Keller, who has the duty to inform him that he’s out of the match. Unbelieving at first, Gionet protests that he wants to continue, and the crowd boos the decision… but to no avail, as Keller holds up his open hands, all ten fingers up, and then points towards the entrance – which, for Gionet, is now intended to be the exit as well.]
SS: One missed move, King Vile capitalizes, and we’re tied up at 4 to 4 here!
RC: And don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Gionet!
SS: Randolph, please! Gionet was extremely unlucky to get counted out there.
RC: Luck is the residue of design, my friend.
[During all this hullabaloo, Vile took a chance to make a much needed tag out to Adrian Cuisine, who’s been taunting his rival Gionet this whole time. Mike, who has now reluctantly rolled out of the ring, takes a second to turn back from the aisle and point behind Cuisine, telling him to check out what his reward for entering the match now is. Cuisine turns, and sees the dubious prize – a chance to tangle with the man Blitzkrieg Bop has sent in next, Ryan Martinez. On seeing that, his eyes pop out – visible even from behind the holes in his mask – and he immediately runs to his corner, looking to tag back out. But Keller won’t allow him to.]
SS: Cuisine can’t tag out without making some form of contact with the new legal man… and he wants no part of Ryan Martinez!
RC: Would you? The man’s smell alone could bring down a rhino.
SS: Stop it, Randolph! There’s nothing wrong with the way Ryan Martinez smells!
[Cuisine is starting to panic, circling warily at a distance from the smiling Martinez, who is amused by the antics. Adrian looks for a safe way to get in, execute a move, and get out – but Ryan is not very obliging, backing off just enough from each tentative approach to force Cuisine to go further towards him than he wants to – which he’s unwilling to do. Not for the first time, Cuisine is stalling – but it’s a stall borne of desperation. Finally, unsure of what else to do, Cuisine makes a sudden lunge for Martinez’s left leg, looking for a quick single leg takedown. He gets past the big man’s guard and does indeed get a hold of his leg, but Martinez responds by putting as much dead weight as he can on it, meaning Cuisine does nothing more than essentially hugging his thigh and leaving himself very, very vulnerable. Martinez catches him with a clubbing blow to the back. Cuisine sells it like he was shot with a cannon – which, given Martinez’s punching power, isn’t too far off the truth. He clutches at his back and takes a few steps back, but not far enough to get out of range when Martinez then blisters him with a flurry of punches to the jaw, ending with a spin into a vicious discus punch that knocks Cuisine to the mat!]
SS: Cuisine doesn’t like the taste of that!
RC: How long have you been sitting on that pun, Skip?
SS: [with obvious pride] Since we opened the company, Randolph. Since we opened the company.
[Martinez keeps up the pressure, scooping up Cuisine for a powerslam, taking a running half-step into it for more momentum and following up with a quick lateral press. JP Keller drops into position to count, but just after the two count the wily Cuisine is able to get a shoulder up. Martinez senses he has the advantage, though, and stays on the offensive, roughly bringing Cuisine to his feet so he can whip him hard – very hard – into a corner, Cuisine taking the bump face first. He staggers backwards and into perfect position for Martinez to just spin him around and then whip him into the opposite neutral corner at the same breakneck speed. This time, Cuisine goes in back first and stays there, propping himself up with arms draped over the ropes. Martinez charges right after him, looking to spear him right into the buckles…
…but at the last moment, a semi-aware Cuisine slips down and to the side, causing Martinez to fly through empty air and drive his shoulder into the unforgiving steel of the ring post!]
RC: Listen to that sickening sound of human flesh and bone striking steel! That is the sound of momentum changing, Skip!
SS: It certainly doesn’t look good or sound good.
RC: When cartilage meets metal, metal wins.
[Martinez is instantly grimacing in pain as he slowly extracts himself from where he impaled his right shoulder on the post, ringing out his hand to try and regain feeling in the arm, while Cuisine slowly takes in the situation and realizes his chance. He grabs hold of Martinez’s arm and quickly drops it down as he falls to his back, sticking his knees up to drive their point into the joint around the shoulder! Martinez falls to the mat, clutching at the injured area, while a relieved Cuisine has created enough time and space to go for what he wanted all along – a tag.]
SS: Player 2 gets the tag!
RC: But he has to hurry! Martinez is carrying himself over to his own corner.
[Martinez, torn between never wanting to take the easy way out and wanting to be a good teammate, has given into the later imperative and is slowly crawling towards his corner, in obvious pain as he tries to get close enough to make a tag. Player 2 assesses the situation perhaps a bit slower than some, but he eventually sees the danger for a lost opportunity and rushes forward to grab hold of one of Martinez’s ankles, trying to pull him away from the help he needs. It’s working, too, until Martinez with a rush of effort shoves off with his massive leg and manages to generate enough power to throw P2 off, allowing him to dive for a tag to Hans von Tripp!]
SS: Player 2 is about to experience the Blitzkrieg!
RC: Let’s hope he can deal with it better than the French.
[I’ll be blunt – he doesn’t, at least not initially. After a second’s indecision he decides to charge, hoping to cut off von Tripp before he can get rolling, but he’s just easily scooped up into Hans’ arms and put into a fireman’s carry. The burly German walks forward a bit with him to get into the middle of the ring before he introduces him to the canvas with a Samoan drop! P2 gets up as quickly as he can, but he’d have done better to try to get out of the ring for a reset, as he just ends up walking into a hip toss. Again he gets up, and the result is no different – another big hip toss follows. von Tripp, being in pretty solid control, decides not to wait for him to get up again and instead heads to the far ropes to build up a head of steam.
Unfortunately for Hans, our referee is looking in on Player 2 and isn’t looking at him when he gets to the ropes, as Adrian Cuisine expertly times a kick to his back to stun him, and then the masked chef drops off the apron to hide as the members of Blitzkrieg Bop all start pointing towards the scene of the crime. The referee is just a bit confused about it all, though, and sees no evidence of what happened as Hans staggers forwards clutching his back. He’d probably figure it out, given enough time, but his attention is taken away when Player 2 walks into Hans and catches him with a sudden inside cradle, forcing the ref to drop everything and go for a count.
1…
2…
The leg is hooked well…
And 3!]
JTW: HANS VON TRIPP HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
SS: I don’t believe it! A flash pin, a cradle out of nowhere, and Blitzkrieg Bop has lost their captain!
RC: If it weren’t for bad luck, Blitzkrieg Bop wouldn’t have any at all.
SS: And then there’s that matter of Cuisine’s blatant cheating.
[Chalmers doesn’t even acknowledge that remark. Meanwhile, our crowd is stunned, clearly disappointed to see Hans eliminated out of the blue. No one is more stunned than the man who recorded the elimination, Player 2, who has to be told twice that he just got a pin. When it sinks in, he’s ecstatic. I mean, really ecstatic. Dropping to his knees, then suddenly leaping up to celebrate, running around the ring pumping his fists and inviting the cheers of the crowd – cheers which, for the first time in his tenure here, he doesn’t get.]
SS: It’s certainly a big upset for Player 2 to eliminate Hans von Tripp, but the young man is making a rookie mistake by celebrating this much.
RC: Oh, give him his moment, Skip. What’s the harm?
SS: Well, there’s that.
[The “that” Skip’s referring to is the same “that” P2’s Wizards of Oz teammates are frantically trying to alert him to, the “that” he doesn’t see until it’s right on top of him. “That” is Kid Phoenix, now the legal man with his captain eliminated, hitting him with a beautiful slingshot hurricanrana, sending him flying halfway across the ring. “That”, or rather, what comes just after “that”, is Phoenix hustling over to where P2 landed and hooking a leg, hoping for a quick pin.
And…
…and…
…and getting it.]
JTW: PLAYER 2 HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
SS: And just like that, we’re tied again at 3 to 3!
RC: And Player 2 completely squandered the advantage he won for the Wizards of Oz. But they’re effectively up 3 to 2 if Ryan Martinez’s shoulder is as hurt as I think it may have been from that missed spear.
[Oz Rivera glares angrily at Player 2 as he enters the ring to take his place, but the masked nerd is just hanging his head sheepishly and doesn’t look back at his captain as he rolls out of the ring. Rivera looks over at Kid Phoenix and smiles insincerely at him, gesturing to invite him to try and take a run at him, for a “free shot”. Phoenix stands in place for a moment as the fans holler at him not to fall into Rivera’s trap, but after some thought he goes for it anyway, charging at Rivera and hitting him with a big shoulderblock – which doesn’t move the squat fireplug of a man at all. Rivera grins confidently and holds his arm out, inviting Phoenix to try that again in the overly chummy tone of a carny who knows his game is rigged. Phoenix obliges, running to the ropes on the other side of the ring and coming back again for another hard shoulderblock – which, again, doesn’t budge Rivera. A third false grin, a third “friendly” invitation, and Phoenix is off and running again.]
RC: Oz Rivera has suckered this young lad into a rookie mistake here. Never try to match an opponent in an area where he is strong and you are not.
[Rivera, legs planted in a solid stance, stands ready to receive a third shoulder and to dish out much more pain than he takes. He’s surprised, then, when Phoenix dives before running into him a third time and instead slides between his legs, popping up behind him. Rivera turns around, trying to figure out what’s gone wrong with his plan, and he swings a wild punch to try and catch his suddenly elusive opponent. Phoenix is expecting this, which makes Oz easy prey as he avoids the punch, ducks under Rivera’s armpit, and slides over his back before hooking a front facelock and taking his legs out from under him with a silky smooth floatover legsweep DDT!]
SS: I think it’s Rivera who was sucked in there! Kid Phoenix pretended to think the shoulderblocks were a good strategy to get Rivera to let his guard down!
RC: That’s one possible interpretation.
[With an advantage, Phoenix looks to keep his team rolling with a quick double-team. He jogs over to tag Youth Gone Wild, before running back to where Rivera is starting to get up and rolling him towards the Blitzkrieg Bop corner with a snap mare. Just as Rivera is sitting up from the mare, he crashes back down when Wild enters the ring by way of a dropkick, right to Oz’s face!]
SS: High impact dropkick by YGW, and he’s going for a cover!
[The referee moves quickly to get into position as Wild immediately follows his big move with a cover, Kid Phoenix smartly having got out of the ring right away after setting up the move so as not to forestall any pin attempt.
1…
2…
NO! Shoulder up from Rivera, much to the relief of his team! Wild gets back up to his feet, but Oz is firing up as well with a second wind, shoving YGW to gain some space and escape any immediate attempt to control him. He follows that with a forearm shiver that catches Wild on the side of the head. Now, YGW has been hit by some pretty big men before, so his instincts have him firing back with a punch of his own, but this has little effect on Oz, who is happy to take a couple of them so he can get in close enough to grab the back of Wild’s head and pull it in as he fires the forearm in again, and then again.]
SS: Youth Gone Wild is a Hall of Famer, but he won’t win a slugging match with Oz Rivera.
RC: And Oz knows it. He’s perfectly willing to take two shots to deliver one.
[It’s working, too, as the smaller Wild is reeling from the stiff shots of Rivera, to the point that Oz is able to send him to the far ropes with an Irish whip, setting up for him to return and get caught in a momentum-assisted belly-to-belly suplex. Wild is able to draw on his bag of veteran tricks in response, hooking the top rope with both arms as he hits to stop his momentum dead, which then enables him to do a backflip over the ropes to land on the apron just outside the ring. This enrages Rivera, who charges right at him – which was apparently Wild’s plan, as he drives a shoulder into the stomach of the charging Oz, doubling him over. He then slingshots back into the ring and right over Rivera into a sunset flip!
1…
2…
…and Rivera rolls it over but holds on, putting Wild into a pinning position!
1…
2…
…and Wild rolls it over again, this time arching his back to turn it into a bridged pin attempt!
1…
2…
…and Rivera gets his shoulders free… but just half a second too late!]
JTW: OZ RIVERA HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
SS: Well how about that, some serious technical skill from wrestling’s all time high-flyer! Youth Gone Wild is looking pretty darn good here tonight, Randolph!
RC: I admit he is, and that is not good news for the remaining Wizards of Oz, Vile and Cuisine. They need to stop Wild’s momentum, or he could be going to the next round along with Phoenix and Martinez.
[Oz protests the count, claiming he was out before the three, but JP Keller is having none of it and orders him out of the ring, pointing then to the Wizards corner and demanding one of the two reluctant men there step into the ring to face Wild. King Vile eventually complies, entering the ring where Wild is smiling impishly waiting for his next opponent.]
SS: What strategy do Vile and Cuisine need to use here, down 3 to 2?
RC: It’s all about survival at this stage. If you have any secret backup plans, any high-risk, high-reward strategies you were saving for the finals, you have to bring them out now or you may not even get to the finals.
[Wild decides to charge at the would-be supervillain, but Vile dodges aside and slaps Wild on his back as he passes to speed him along. Wild uses the ropes for momentum and comes back, smartly ducking a clothesline attempt by the King. On his next return, Vile changes plan and tries to catch him with a hip toss, but as he gets him up Wild adjusts in mid-air to slip out of the arm’s grasp and plants his knees into Vile’s chest, improvising into a running monkey flip that sends Vile head over heels! Vile crawls, disoriented, and finds a neutral corner where he tries to pull himself up. Wild takes it as an invitation to run in for another monkey flip, but he’s gone to the well once too often, and Vile hooks his arms around the rope at the last second, causing Wild to fall on his back instead. Vile hops up to the second rope, waiting for a second as Wild regains his footing, and then he takes off to hit a leaping tornado DDT!]
SS: King Vile going for the cover… but an easy kickout by Wild!
RC: With his lucha libre background, Vile has a better chance than most to fly around the ring and trade moves with Youth Gone Wild. This may be his best strategy to hold his own until an opportunity comes up.
SS: An opportunity?
RC: To cheat, of course.
[Both men are back up, and again they’re using the ropes to add some speed to the match, Vile sending Wild to the far set, and then ducking as YGW leaps over him on the first pass. The second time, he again tries for a hiptoss, but Wild again has an answer, going with the move but doing a little flip mid-air so he lands on his feet and then immediately lashing out with a superkick that catches Vile off guard! The King goes down in a heap, and Wild heads out of the ring and towards one of the corners, getting ready to go top rope. He stops, though, as he sees Adrian Cuisine on the floor below, rooting around under the ring for… something. Wild looks down to figure out what’s going on, and sees his partner Ryan Martinez walking over as well to alert the referee and put a stop to whatever Cuisine’s plan is. Sadly, this heightened sense of justice is in fact distracting the ref, as he’s more concerned with getting Martinez back to his corner than whatever Cuisine is doing, despite Ryan’s protestations.]
SS: Youth Gone Wild can’t get too distracted here, King Vile is still very much in this match!
RC: He’s a veteran, Skip, he knows that. I think he’s going to deal with Cuisine himself now that the official is distracted.
[Chalmers is right, as Wild has hopped down to stand over the kneeling Cuisine, smiling at him to show his plan has been foiled and he’s at Wild’s mercy. In desperation, Cuisine tries to tuck his hands into his body to protect whatever it is he was fishing for, but Wild moves quickly and leans in to take away the foreign object, still unseen. Then, suddenly, their struggle ends as our whole field of vision is filled with a cloud of small specks, and a torn package flutters to the ground, falling out of both men’s hands. Cuisine’s mask protects him from the spray for the most part, but Wild is immediately clutching at his eyes, tears welling up at their corners.]
SS: What on Earth? Some sort of foreign substance has been spilled here as Wild and Cuisine fought over it, and it’s blinded Wild!
RC: Red pepper flakes, Skip. They add a certain exotic kick to any recipe.
[Now, both Martinez and Kid Phoenix are trying to direct JP Keller’s attention to the shenanigans on the outside, but being a gullible sort as refs often are he suspects Blitzkrieg Bop is trying to pull some sort of trick and he doubles down on lecturing them instead. This gives Cuisine, who was prepared for the flakes and can still see, time to roll a disoriented Youth Gone Wild back into the ring, where a recovered King Vile is waiting for him. Wild, knowing he’s in trouble, swings a fist wildly… but, sadly, blindly, and Vile easily ducks it before approaching from a completely different angle and making sure that Wild is in no position to resist with a blatant mule kick to the groin.]
SS: Oh, come on ref, you had to see that!
[Alas, he still didn’t. Vile takes time to set up the blinded and pained Wild, hoisting him upside down and hooking both legs before he steps one foot, and then the other around his dangling arms, allowing him to run forward into the running Styles Clash Vile calls The Secret Weapon!
Sadly for our heroes in this match, it’s just as Vile is hitting The Secret Weapon and rolling Wild over into a pin that referee Keller finally decides to turn his attention back to the ring, still ignoring the entirely valid protests of Martinez and Phoenix.
1…
2…
…and the crowd cries out for Wild, but to no avail! 3!]
JTW: YOUTH GONE WILD HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
RC: What a feather in the cap of King Vile, to pin the Hall of Famer right in the middle of the ring!
SS: Are you kidding, Randolph? It took two men, a shot of spice to the eyes, and a blatant low blow to get that pin!
RC: Yes, but it still happened. King Vile just pinned Youth Gone Wild, and you and all these Wild-maniacs have to deal with it.
[YGW, his eyes still red, looks around forlornly from his prone position as Keller informs him he’ll have to leave. But the crowd isn’t quite ready to let him, at least, not on that note. So, as he slowly rises, the crowd decides to cheer his efforts with a chant.
YOU’VE STILL GOT IT!
CLAP! CLAP! CLAP CLAP CLAP!
And the weary warrior, his sight dimmed, his man parts in pain, his night over, lets a wan smile come over his face as he is helped to his feet by JP Keller, giving the fans a small nod of appreciation, which just sends them into even louder chanting and cheering.]
SS: Now how fitting is this! We don’t know how many more chances we’ll ever get to see Youth Gone Wild in a wrestling ring, and our fans are letting him know exactly what he means to them and to the sport!
RC: I’m bored. Let me know when the retiree has left and the match can continue.
[Chalmers’ disrespect notwithstanding, Wild takes just a moment to soak in the cheers, before walking over to his corner and offering some last minute advice to his remaining partners. He then ducks out of the ring and, without once looking back, walks slowly up the aisle.
Back in the ring, where our focus must return, Ryan Martinez has come in as the legal man. King Vile, perhaps a bit cocky after eliminating YGW, is not keeping his distance from the big man. In fact, he’s looking to lock up, which seems unusual given the size disparity he’s on the wrong end of. Martinez is happy enough to accept, and at first he’s predictably in control, until Vile spins slightly to get out from Ryan’s center of gravity and lets go with one hand, grabbing onto Martinez’s right arm and wrenching it with an armwringer. A pained look comes quickly over his face, and Martinez drops to one knee.]
SS: You may have been right about the extent of Martinez’s injury when his right shoulder hit the steel ringpost earlier in this match. That was several minutes ago, and yet he’s still brought down by pressure applied to that arm.
RC: King Vile wanted to test if that shoulder would be a weakness, and he was right to do so. Martinez might as well have a target painted on his shoulder after that.
[Vile acts just like a shark smelling blood, as he shifts his grip up to a clawhold on the right shoulder that has Martinez screaming in defiance, but still stuck on his knee and too hurt to just power up. With his other arm, he tries to reach up behind him and grab a body part for leverage, but Vile puts a stop to that, releasing with one hand so he can drive his fist onto the top of the damaged shoulder blade over and over again until Martinez’s arm drops back down. Vile keeps up this strike attack, switching to methodically driving the tip of his elbow into the shoulder.]
SS: If Ryan Martinez wants to avoid elimination, he’ll have to tag out quickly and hope that Kid Phoenix can win this match on his own. I just can’t see him being a factor with that shoulder clearly injured, and he’ll need at least a little rest if he’s to have any chance of winning the Cup tonight.
RC: But in a handicap match, assuming Martinez can’t contribute, I like the team of Cuisine and Vile over Kid Phoenix very much. I think Blitzkrieg Bop is out of options here.
SS: I would never count them out, but it doesn’t look good.
[Vile lets go of the hold and applies a cravate, using it to control Martinez and roll him forward into the Wizards corner so he can make a tag to Cuisine without letting his opponent slip away. Adrian sets himself up in a seated position on the second rope while Vile holds Ryan’s right arm out as a target, allowing Cuisine to drop an elbow of his own into that bum shoulder. JP Keller has started a five count after that move hits, hoping to prevent excessive double-teaming, but Vile and Cuisine show their usual level of respect for the rules and those who enforce them by completely ignoring the referee. The two bring Martinez to his feet and set him up with a double whip to the ropes…
…but the plan backfires, when Martinez bowls both men over with a massive running clothesline!
But the backfire backfires too, as on hitting Vile with his right arm a wave of pain shoots through it, and Martinez again drops to his knees as he holds the injured arm!]
SS: A big counter by Martinez, but he was barely able to do it! He needs a tag in the worst possible way!
RC: And the Wizards need to stop him if they want to both advance here!
[After a moment where both Wizards are down and out, and Martinez is slowly making his way to his corner, Cuisine starts to rouse himself. Vile does as well, but JP Keller points to the corner, forcing him to roll away from the action or risk disqualification. The ref then turns back to watch as Martinez slowly, painfully crawls towards his corner, stalked by a just slightly faster yet groggy Cuisine. Kid Phoenix leans out as far as he can, knowing he’s his team’s main chance of survival now, bridging as much of the gap as possible as Cuisine closes in on Martinez.
And then Ryan makes one last lunge, making the hot tag to a huge roar from the crowd! Kid Phoenix leaps into the ring, and Cuisine switches from advance to backpedaling with world record speed. This strategic retreat doesn’t fool Phoenix for a second, as he turns to meet the sneak attack of a charging King Vile with a hard right hand that drops him, then turns back to a suddenly charging Cuisine and hits a standing dropkick to send him tumbling away. Vile gets back up, but Phoenix takes him out of the picture before he can do anything else by grabbing the scruff of his neck and tossing him out of the ring over the top rope! He does this just quickly enough to prepare for a charging Cuisine, crouching down to meet him and then lifting up, flipping him up over his back and dropping him to the mat below!]
SS: BAAAAACK BODY DROP!
RC: Don’t ever call the move that way again. Just… just don’t.
[Phoenix is keeping the pressure up, moving very quickly to head to the ropes before Cuisine can get back up. With practiced ease he climbs to the top rope and sets himself up there, getting ready to fly just as Cuisine – still unaware – is starting to rise. However, King Vile on the outside has picked himself up as well, and he’s in perfect position to trip up Phoenix, leading the masked man to crotch himself on the top buckle. Of course, our well-meaning but occasionally inept referee doesn’t see this either, and finally Ryan Martinez has had enough, hopping down to the floor and charging after Vile.]
SS: Even with an injured arm, Martinez is going to fight! Look at him take it to King Vile on the outside!
RC: No, look at the legal men in the ring, Skip! Adrian Cuisine is going up top with surprising speed, and he has nothing but bad intentions in mind for Kid Phoenix!
[Phoenix is still incapacitated from Vile’s cheap shot when Cuisine climbs up to join him, hooking a handful of tights and planting his feet to set up for a superplex. Phoenix starts to recover at just the right time, fighting to block just as Cuisine is trying to take him back into the ring the hard way. The two struggle for position, both in a precarious spot for keeping their footing, both rocking back and forth on the dangerously small spot in front of them, all while Martinez slugs away at Vile on the floor below and referee Keller watches it all nervously.
And then, suddenly, Cuisine gains the advantage, and both men go flying through the air. Their bodies tumble, seemingly in slow motion, which then speeds up at the last second as both crash into the mat, Phoenix hitting harder for being the one to take the move.]
RC: Adrian Cuisine is always able to take an advantage when it’s there! What a massive, momentum-changing superplex he just hit!
[Cuisine is up first, and as he looks over at the still downed Kid, he decides to hit one more big move to prevent this Phoenix from rising. With the other two men in the match still hammering each other outside the ring – Martinez, working with just the one hand, is still getting the better of the fisticuffs – no one’s around to stop him as he picks up Phoenix and drops him right back down with his patented face-first piledriver!]
SS: The Upside Down Pineapple Cake!
RC: That has to be it for Phoenix! Cuisine with the cover, and he’s being thorough in hooking the leg…
[Indeed he is, and Randolph’s right. For as much fight as Kid Phoenix has shown tonight, when you get hit with the Upside-Down Pineapple Cake, you don’t get back up quickly, and Cuisine easily gets the three count.]
JTW: KID PHOENIX HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
[On hearing that his team is now down to just him, Ryan Martinez turns for a second to look at what’s happening in the ring – and that second costs him, as Vile takes advantage of his distraction with a forearm to the back that incapacitates him. This allows Vile to roll Martinez back into the ring, where Cuisine has already move on from Kid Phoenix and is laying in wait, immediately stomping away at Martinez. After a few stomps and kicks to the midsection to establish his advantage Cuisine gets more methodical, targeting the right shoulder with hard stomps. JP Keller intervenes, pushing Adrian back a step or two with a warning that he needs to give Martinez time as a newly entered legal man in the contest, but Cuisine slips away from him to run back in and lay in another two stomps to the shoulder before Keller can again shove him away and give Martinez the space he’s entitled to.]
SS: Cuisine isn’t doing any of his stall tactics now! When he’s in there with an injured man, he seems perfectly willing to go on the offensive.
RC: Too many people assume the stalling is about cowardice, when nothing could be further from the truth. Cuisine is a master tactician who gets inside the heads of opponents. He withdraws from their strengths and attacks their weaknesses. You’re just as likely to see him backstage reading The Art of War as you are The Joy of Cooking.
[Okay, so that’s a particularly wordy way to say he’s a sleazy opportunist, but it’ll do. Having achieved a beatdown on Martinez to start this segment of the match, he’s now content to milk the crowd, taunting Ryan by miming having his arm in a sling. Martinez is clearly fuming as he rises, and he charges recklessly towards Cuisine as a consequence. This is exactly what the master chef wanted, with Adrian easily slipping the charge and executing a go-behind on Martinez, grabbing an arm – the injured right arm – as he does and twisting it against his back in a hammerlock.]
RC: The Arm and Hammerlock! From a standing position, that puts incredible strain on the shoulder joint! We wouldn’t normally see it, but it’s possible Martinez could submit to this, in his condition!
SS: Ryan Martinez does not strike me as the type to submit easily, even if it would be in his long term interests.
[Cuisine cranks the arm back as far as he can, tightening his grip as he does, and we can see the pain in Martinez’s face. He only has one chance at escape, but he takes it, driving his left elbow back without warning and catching Cuisine right in the mush, forcing a release. Martinez then runs at Cuisine, but one elbow will only stop a man for so long, and Cuisine has a counter with a drop toe hold. He then shoots right to Martinez’s arm and is once again applying the hammerlock before Ryan can stop him. This time, though, he doesn’t use it to look for a submission, instead getting Ryan up to a bent over position on his feet and using the lock to control him – until it’s time to hit him with a hammerlock DDT!]
RC: A big, powerful man like Martinez needs to be worn down before you can defeat him… but I do believe Cuisine and Vile are getting close, very close, to advancing.
SS: They’ve worked together quite well, too. They’d be a difficult test for whoever survives in our second match.
[Cuisine looks down at Martinez, and decides he’ll need just one more big move before he’s ready to be finished. So, he heads to an area that isn’t normally where he earns his pay – the high-rent district of the top rope, where he waits for Ryan to get up and blunder into position. Martinez is just starting up when Cuisine takes to the air with surprising grace…]
SS: OH MY GOD!
RC: A Diamond Cutter catches Cuisine in mid-air!
[There is a surprised, and very impressed, pop as Martinez gets into position to use Cuisine’s leap against him and just absolutely lays him out cold on the mat with a super Diamond Cutter. Even our referee is surprised to see the reversal, and he takes half a second to register that Martinez is going for a cover before he slides into position.
1…
2…
…aaannnddd….
3!]
JTW: ADRIAN CUISINE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!
SS: So now, it’s one on one for the right to survive!
[Martinez is just getting up, excited at the big elimination, when he’s instantly jumped from behind by King Vile, who takes him down with a chop block to the back of the knee. Vile, who hadn’t even waited for Cuisine to roll out of the ring, doesn’t wait here either as he immediately takes advantage of a downed Martinez. He rolls him over to lie on his back before quickly dropping down to take control of the much targeted injured right arm, struggling for a few seconds before he manages to lock in a crucifix armbar.]
SS: Oh no, Vile has the Evil Plan locked in! That could hyperextend the arm!
RC: That could rip the bloody thing out of its socket, and Vile’s willing to do it if that’s what it takes.
[Martinez squirms on the mat, trying to shuffle his weight to get moving in a direction… any direction, anywhere that gets him close to a rope and a chance to break the armbar, but Vile just plants himself as heavily as he can to create a counterweight while yanking back on the arm and digging his feet into the other arm. Martinez, despite a little shift here and there, is basically dead to rights in the middle of the ring, and Vile doesn’t look like he’d let go if you offered him a million bucks.]
RC: Come on Ryan, submit! Save your shoulder! It’s just sore now, but it could be ruined, it could be a career ending injury if you’re stubborn! You’re beat! Admit it!
[Just at that moment, JP Keller asks Martinez if he wants to quit, and his answer is a bellowed “NO!”. Vile just keeps the pressure up in response.]
SS: I hate to agree with you, Randolph, but… Martinez is beat. He’s in the middle of the ring, he has nowhere to go, and his shoulder is already damaged. He may be too prideful a warrior to submit, but JP Keller needs to consider calling this match for medical reasons.
[The sweat runs down Martinez’s face, past half closed eyes and gritted teeth, all as Vile continues to pull on the armbar and Keller continues to stay right in Ryan’s face, ready to hear the slightest indication he wants to give up. That’s when Ryan does something unexpected. He rolls towards the hold, rather than pulling against it, creating a moment where Vile doesn’t have exactly the leverage he wants. This doesn’t break the Evil Plan, as Vile is able to quickly correct, but it does get his feet out of position on the left arm, which allows Ryan to use his elbow to prop himself onto his side. Vile continues to control the right arm with his arms, but he’s shaking his head no as Martinez somehow… somehow… is using the little bit of leverage he’s gained to start rising, slowly getting towards a position where he can get to his feet – all while he deadlifts the 202 pounds of rudo, who continues to hold onto the armbar for lack of a better plan.]
SS: Somehow, some way, Ryan Martinez is standing up, and he’s deadlifting King Vile up with him!
[An impressed murmur runs through the crowd as Martinez is able to unsteadily get both feet under him, then raise his ruined right arm enough that Vile’s grip on the Evil Plan comes loose. But Ryan’s grip on Vile is far from loose, as he quickly brings his other arm in to try to move Vile around, as he has a tenuous hold on him around his midsection. Some quick adjustments mean Martinez has Vile in a waistlock, his back out horizontal and legs up around Ryan’s shoulders… which is the perfect position to drop him down in a power bomb! But Ryan doesn’t let go, clasping his hands to keep hold of King Vile and deadlifting him yet again, with obvious effort, before dropping him a second time, this time with a high jackknife powerbomb!]
SS: Have you ever seen an escape quite like that, Randolph?
RC: No, but it looks like it took almost as much out of Martinez as it did Vile! King Vile is ripe for being pinned here, but is Martinez in any shape to do it?
[Martinez knows he needs to go for a cover, but he’s almost out of it from the exertion of the twin power bombs and the pain of his extended time in the Evil Plan. He drops to his hands and knees, panting to try and catch his breath, as Vile lies prone on the mat, head rolling slowly. The fans are hollering, screaming, pounding on anything they can find to try to give Ryan the energy for one last pin attempt – and we see it have a noticeable effect on the young man from LA, as he grits his teeth and lunges forward despite the pain to get himself on top of Vile for a cover.]
SS: Martinez going for the pinfall… but did he take too long?
[JP Keller gets right up close to make sure the shoulders are down, Martinez hooks a leg, and Vile tries to get his wits about him in time to kick out as our count begins.
1…
2…
…of course, I’m going to make you wait through at least this one fakeout…
…and…
3!]
JTW: KING VILE HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! YOUR WINNER, AND SOLE SURVIVOR, RYAN MARTINEZ!
[Instantly, the roof blows off the arena as everyone cheers the come from behind win of Martinez… everyone except the men in the ring. King Vile is still down and out, while Martinez slumps to the mat as soon as the count is registered, rubbing at his shoulder to try and get some blood flow into it and soothe the pain he’s feeling.]
SS: What a contest, Randolph! And what a win for Ryan Martinez, who moves on by himself to the next round as the sole survivor of this match!
RC: I’m impressed, don’t get me wrong. But the man’s shoulder has to be pretty much useless now, and he’s only going to get a short amount of time to recover until he has to wrestle again. The real winner here is whoever survives between European Money and Villanova’s Villains, because they have an easy route to the Cup against a weakened Martinez.
SS: That’s a fair point, but why not let the man bask in his victory for the time being?
RC: Because I’m a jerk, Skip. I thought that was obvious by now?
[With some assistance from JP Keller, Martinez has got back to his feet and has allowed the ref to raise his arm in victory – his left arm, mind you, the one that hadn’t been run through attacks from a whole team of heels.]
SS: We have to take a very quick look now at our next show coming up, and then when we return, it’s time for European Money vs Villanova’s Villains!
[We cut to a video package, which begins with a scene of lobster boats bobbing up and down on the grey North Atlantic, men in yellow rain gear pulling up wooden traps by hand as the salt spray cascades around them.
We then cut to a slow pan of a forest full of maple trees, as a man in a plaid jacket picks up a dented metal bucket and carries the bucket, brimming full of golden sap, towards a small wooden cabin in the distance.
Another cut, to a forest not dissimilar to the previous one, where two hunters in orange camouflage peer from a hiding spot behind a fallen log as a majestic bull moose looks into the distance, his massive antlers impressing us all.
A fourth cut, as we see blueberry bushes in rows spread across the landscape, while a farm worker goes from bush to bush, gathering up all the ripest berries.
Finally, we freeze on the skyline of a small but attractive city, sitting near the falls of a river, as our all-purpose announcer Abigail Adams chimes in over the image.]
AA: Maine is known for its fishing, hunting, its lumber, its friendly people and small town charm. And on Saturday, April 28th, you can add wrestling to the mix. Live, from Lewiston, Maine, Fighting Spirit is proud to present…
[Abigail pauses in her voice-over for a little while, allowing a song to come in over the promo. It’s a synthesizer heavy piece of 80’s pop by Animotion that should be instantly recognizable… but since we’re working with text here, I’ll just let you know it’s 1985’s massive top ten hit, “Obsession”.]
AA: …Saturday Night’s Maine Event!
[And with that, Maine’s blue state flag covers the screen, with text popping up around it to describe the event.
SATURDAY, APRIL 28TH
LIVE FROM THE ANDROSCOGGIN BANK COLISEE IN LEWISTON, MAINE
FIGHTING SPIRIT PRESENTS SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAINE EVENT!
And then, we return to ringside, where Martinez and Vile have cleared out during that promo, and we’re all anxiously awaiting the next ten men to take center stage.]
SS: Well, we’re certainly looking forward to our trip to Maine, but it’s now time for our second elimination match, where we’re going to find out who’ll be taking on Ryan Martinez in the next round!
RC: An injured Ryan Martinez, Skip. This match takes on a whole new significance, because it’s basically a bye on to the Cup for whoever survives. If it’s several men, they can start thinking about the match with each other – and if it’s one man, he’s your winner. Because with the way Martinez’s shoulder was hurt, he’s no threat to stop anyone.
SS: That remains to be seen, Randolph. But what needs to be seen first is who will survive when European Money takes on Villanova’s Villains! Jennifer, would you be so kind as to handle the introductions?
[She would be, obviously, as our ring announcer is standing in the center of the ring and ready to go.]
JTW: This is your second of two ten man elimination matches! Whoever survives elimination in this match will move on to face Ryan Martinez in another elimination match! Introducing first, the team of…
[Jennifer pauses for a second, having trouble getting a particular name out. She shudders briefly, her distaste evident.]
JTW: …Villanova’s Villains. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Elbitz, and hailing from Patterson, New Jersey… “The King of the Cruiserweights”, Twinkletoes Tiwilliger!
[“Pump up the Jam” by Technotronic blares over the arena sound system. Instead of Twinkletoes Tiwilliger we see an small elderly asian man with a less than convincing pompadour toupee and a 70’s sequin jumpsuit missing most of its sequins. The old man has a megaphone in hand and begins singing along with the song. It sounds something like this…
#Plump up the ham Plump it up#
#While the tea has crumpets#
#and the cheese is clumpin#
#Look at how the cloud is spunkin#
#Jump a little whore#
#Get your smartie underpants sore#
#When you fly out when the score is too bad#
#Bake my clay, Bake my clay#
#Bake my Bake my#
#Curds and whey#
The old man continues to sing his indecipherable lyrics until out comes the rotund figure known as Twinkletoes Tiwilliger. He tries to dance to the music, and by dancing we mean something resembling an elephant with epilepsy. The old man stops singing and begins to speak.]
Old man: I Elbitz!!! The kinky whack o mole! I induce for you Da Klingon da Crushergrapes. Tinklehose Two whale in jar!
[Twinkletoes Tiwilliger continues to “dance” while he makes his way to the ring, trying to slap the hands of the fans along the railing. The fans do not warm to his gesture. Behind Twinkletoes follows Elbitz, the old man with the megaphone and Twinkletoes’ apparent manager.]
SS: Twinkletoes Tiwilliger is, uh…
RC: He calls himself King of the Cruiserweights?! He looks like he ate the Cruiserweight Division!
SS: As we saw on our YouTube channel some days ago, Twinkletoes believes himself to be a beloved high-flying luchadore who is rather undersized, and that all the fans in attendance are his worshipful “Twinkies”.
RC: Dear God. Well, the man looks like he knows Twinkies, if nothing else. And he’s managed by, what, exactly?
SS: Elbitz, who offers quite competitive rates as an Elvis impersonator, I am told.
[Chalmers tries to say something else, but he’s too astonished to speak, so we just watch Twinkletoes dance and Elbitz try to entertain like The King he believes himself to be, until they get far enough up the aisle for the music to change. At least, we expect it to change at this point, based on the past match, but instead “Pump up the Jam” keeps playing and Hencho #2 walks into view, not meriting a proper entrance of his own.]
JTW: From King Vile’s Secret Base, Hencho #2
SS: This looks like, er, quite a team.
RC: It gets better, Skip. It gets better.
[The Hencho sprints to the ring as quickly as a slightly out of shape man can, making way for the bigger stars on his team. This happens when the music actually does change, swinging to the Cuban influenced rhythms of Pitbull’s “The Anthem”.]
JTW: Hailing from Tampa, Florida… “The Human Hand Grenade”, Luis Sanchez!
[Sanchez bursts out to the top of the ramp and starts bouncing up and down in tune to the song, feeding off the energy of the music and even the negative energy of the crowd booing him. Suddenly, though, he takes off like he was shot out of a cannon, running past his two partners at ringside and diving into the ring under the bottom ropes. He bounds right back to his feet and is still bouncing around like an over-caffeinated rabbit, as his rap song is replaced by the punk rock opening riffs of Rise Against’s “Ready to Fall”.]
JTW: From Toronto, Ontario, Canada… please welcome Jakob Aitkins!
[Aitkins makes us wait a moment before he emerges from the back, his patchy beard now actually almost respectably full. He’s almost focused as he makes is way to the ring, which is unusual for Aitkins – he ignores the music and mostly ignores the fans, keeping his eyes on the ring as he walks the aisle.]
SS: Until recently we hadn’t heard from Mr. Aitkins for a little while, but he seems to be really focused on winning the Continental Cup tonight.
RC: Whatever’s going on, it is working. Aitkins got a big victory in a tag match in Johnson City. Personally, I put it down to the positive influence of this next man…
[“O Fortuna” heralds the arrival of the team captain, and of the man our “Brazilian” fans just can’t stand. Nico Villanova strides arrogantly into view, looking resplendent as always in his cloak, doublet, and fancy plumed hat. He smiles graciously… well, his version of graciously, which is rather transparently false… at the fans as poor Jennifer tries not to look in his direction while she announces him.]
JTW: And finally, the team captain. Wrestling out of Venice, Italy, he is “Visconte” Nico Villanova!
[It is worth noting, as Villanova makes his lordly entrance, that Jakob Aitkins has sidled up next to Jennifer and is whispering something to her, to which she nods with an odd mixture of concern and relief, as if she’s not sure how to feel about whatever he’s saying.]
SS: Now, what’s this all about?
[No answer is immediately forthcoming, as after their short discussion Aitkins breaks off to join his teammates in the corner, waiting for their captain to arrive. When he gets there, Aitkins grabs Nico’s attention for a second and whispers something to him as well, to which the Visconte offers a detached nod in a somewhat bored show of approval.]
SS: Whatever it is, it involves both our ring announcer and Villanova… which means it can’t be good.
RC: It can only be good if it involves the Visconte, Skip. You’re always so critical of a man who is your better. Jealousy is not pretty, Skip.
[We’re back to focusing on Jennifer in the middle of the ring, as she has another team full of introductions to get through. With the Villains waiting expectantly for their foes outside the ring, Jennifer lets fly.]
JTW: And their opponents, the team of European Money! Introducing first, he is our very special guest, and he hails from Hackensack, New Jersey… please give a hearty Fighting Spirit welcome to “The Jersey Drifter”, Liam Cassidy!
[Oasis’ somewhat less than PG titled song, “Fuckin’ in the Bushes” heralds the entrance of Cassidy, who appears in a worn brown fedora and long jean shorts, his dangerous fists taped up tight and a smile on his face. The fans, pleased to see wrestling’s most lovable hobo in person, are giving him a “Let’s Go Liam!” chant, which Cassidy responds to with a quick and enthusiastic thumbs up. Meanwhile, in the ring, the members of Villanova’s Villains (excepting Twinkletoes Tiwilliger, who is busy stretching out his legs so he’ll be even quicker and more nimble during the match) are all reacting with disgust and mockery to the sight of Cassidy. Hencho #2 is prominently holding his nose, while Jakob Aitkins mimes a drinking motion and Nico Villanova wears an expression of total disdain. Cassidy, on seeing Aitkins attempt at mocking him, nods and says “Good idea, lad” and pulls a worn flask out of his pocket. With an practiced motion he unscrews the cap, knocks back a healthy shot, and then puts it all away again so he can start down to the ring.]
RC: Dear Lord, he’s drinking on the job.
SS: And this crowd loves it! Liam Cassidy is totally unashamed of who he is, no matter what those jerks in the ring think of him.
[Cassidy continues to the ring, but is clever enough not to actually get in there against five devious villains until his teammates arrive. This starts when MC Frontalot’s “Final Boss” plays for the second time tonight.]
JTW: From the Year 20XX… Player 1 of the Nerd Power Collective!
[The masked Player 1 bursts out excitedly from behind the curtains, waving his arms to pump up the crowd. Once the fans are solidly behind him, he stops in place, holding his hands together before he thrusts them out in time with a slight turn of his waist, shouting out some undecipherable Japanese word as he does. He seems disappointed when nothing noticeable happens.]
SS: Player 1 trying to throw a hadouken there!
RC: A what now?
SS: I spoke to Player 1 earlier, and he seemed to have the idea – because we’re in Brazil – that he was here to fight Blanka. So he was trying to work on his hadouken.
RC: What in the blazes are you talking about?
SS: Street Fighter II, of course!
RC: Street fighter? This is wrestling, Skip.
[I suppose it depends very much on how old you were in 1992 how much a Street Fighter II reference works for you. Your humble author was 12, so it pleases him greatly. In any case, Player 1 makes his way to ringside to join Liam Cassidy, who gives him a friendly nod of recognition as the music changes again to Pink Floyd’s instantly recognizable “Money”.]
JTW: Hailing from Peekskill, New York, and proudly representing Henrique’s House of Discount Furnishings, with five convenient locations in the Greater Rio region… here is “Money” Matt Carter!
[Carter is wearing, as he did the last time we saw him, a blue singlet with gold trim and gold pants which are liberally covered in advertising patches for a variety of sponsors. The energetic Carter stands still long enough for the hard camera to get a good, long look at him – and more importantly, those adverts – before he heads down the aisle, slapping hands with each and every fan he can. His rather classic rock entrance music is then replaced by a “classic” of a different sort… Falco’s “Rock Me Amadeus”, which gets the crowd really up and cheering. Er, despite the song, and rather for whose song it is.]
JTW: And finally, the team co-captains! Hailing from Klagenfurt and Graz in Austria, here are “Mr. America” Till Bromme… “Big” Johann Wanz… the Austrian MegaPowers!
[The two massive central Europeans walk into view in their gaudy, red-white-and-blue wrestling gear. Well, Till’s is gaudy anyway, what with the Hammer pants and outsized shades. Despite not being Stateside (allegedly), the two pro-American Austrians get a huge face pop anyway. Bromme pats Wanz on the shoulder, signalling the two to walk down the aisle. The excitable Bromme is soaking in the atmosphere, interacting with several fans along the way, while the more stoic Wanz is looking over his team and the opposition, thinking through the match to come.]
SS: Folks, we need to take a very, very short break! But as soon as our intermission is done, we’ll see all ten of these men – European Money taking on Villanova’s Villains – in a huge matchup!
RC: And the winners get to dismantle Ryan Martinez, piece by piece!
SS: There’s only one way to find out – join us after the intermission!
[The two teams glare at each other, and match official Lorne Davis starts directing traffic to get the match started as we cut to the intermission.]
Leave a comment